Dusty Trails: A Tale of Vampires and Voodoo (A Twilight Fan Fiction)
by FangzFrThMmrs
Summary: Stephenie Meyer fans are all familiar with the story of Bella and Edward, two star-crossed lovers who overcame their different backgrounds in the name of love, but how would our lovers fare if uprooted from their comfortable life in Forks, Washington? Accompany me to a world based on the Twilight saga, but with a Cajun twist-featuring authentic Cajun terms from Wikipedia!


**Scene One**

 _In the fat, beerbloated underbelly of Louisiana is the Bourick* Bayou,** and by that Bayou is a lil' ol' trailer park called Dusty Trails. Dusty Trails consists of twelve cars and thirty nine neighbors- CREOLE neighbors, that is. This is an exceptionally peaceful park, complete with little old Maw Maws*** cookin' up gumbo and their grandbabies chasin' crawdads**** by the river. The smell of juicy Bigarno***** sizzlin' in the skillet intermingles with the joyful noise that is zydeco,****** the signature scent and music of all Louisiana._

 _In the largest trailer lives the Cullens, the most respected family in all of Dusty Trails. Neighbors regard the Cullens as beautiful people with the purest white skin and golden brown eyes that glow like the sweet glaze of a succulent Turducken.******* Their patriarch, Carlisle Cullen, is a respected witch doctor in the Dusty community. Between him and his pretty young wife, Esme, there are five adopted Cullen children: Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and- the youngest- Edward, who his parents claim is between eighteen and nineteen years old. While the Cullens are favored by their neighbors, some can't help but notice a few peculiarities about the beautiful family in the largest trailer; Mamere******** Minnie and her husband, Papere********* Buford, are discussing these oddities outside their trailer in front of a nice warm "fah-yuh."**********_

 _* belly button_

 _** a slow moving river/ a stream_

 _*** Grandma_

 _**** crayfish (they look like tiny lobsters)_

 _*****cooked snails/ escargot_

 _****** Cajun dance music_

 _******* a turkey stuffed with a duck that is stuffed with chicken_

 _******** Another term for grandmother_

 _********* Grandfather_

 _********** The Cajun pronunciation of "fire"_

 **Mamere Minnie:** So I had a _visite_ (visit) with that pretty lady Esme today.

 **Papere Buford:** You mean Madame Cullen?

 **Mamere Minnie:** Yes. Did you know that she's one of those um… how you say? Oh, right- _vegetarians?_

 **Papere Buford:** Qui C'est q'ca? (What is that?)

 **Mamere Minnie:** Oh, you know Paw Paw, those Skinny Mullets (skinny people) who don't eat meat!

 **Papere Buford:** Oh.

 **Mamere Minnie:** Matter o' fact, I think all them Cullens are vegetarians!

 **Papere Buford:** Bracque! (Crazy!)

 **Mamere Minnie:** And that's not even the strangest part. Did you know that those children are all adopted?

 **Papere Buford:** Maw Maw, everyone knows that! How could one woman be as blessed as to have five perfect children all from the same womb?

 **Mamere Minnie:** Madame Cullen is unable to have children of her own because of her condition.

 **Papere Buford:** Sacre bleu! (An expression of surprise or dismay!) A condition?

 **Mamere Minnie:** Yes- they're all afflicted by this condition that doesn't let them get any older. That's why her and Carlisle look so young. It's strange, isn't it?

 **Papere Buford:** This condition sounds more like a cunja (a spell that has been put on someone) to me, Maw Maw-

 **Mamere Minnie:** _(hits Papere Buford)_ Paw Paw, don't talk like that! You know Carlisle's a respected witch doctor, people like that don't go messin' 'round with that black magic and voo doo!

 **Papere Buford:** Gar Ici (look here), Maw Maw, now what kind of 'condition' makes people young and beautiful forever?

 **Mamere Minnie:** I don't know, but I know that there ain't nobody messin' around with voo doo here. That's a La Pushe sorta' thing. _(La Pushe is another trailer park on the other side of the Bourick Bayou.)_

 **Papere Buford:** And them kids have this cunja- I mean condition, too?

 **Mamere Minnie:** Yes, Esme said they adopted them just because of that.

 **Papere Buford:** You know what, Maw Maw? I heard from Ol' Monsieur Charlie Swan that they let them kids marry each other.

 **Mamere Minnie:** Well, what's the harm in it? They're all adopted, and that condition won't let 'em have their own children, anyhow.

 **Papere Buford:** Ech! (Gross!) Well, Charlie said he won't be lettin' his daughter near any of them Cullen childrens.

 **Mamere Minnie:** Charlie's havin' a daughter?

 **Papere Buford:** Maw Maw, he's too old to be havin' any daughters! Charlie's had himself a wife out in some place like Phoenix, with all them prickly little cactuses in the desert. They ain't together no more-she sounded like a _bonne a rienne_ (a promiscuous woman) to me- but she's gettin' hitched with some baseball player and her little girl's comin' to live with ol' Charlie now.

 **Mamere Minnie:** Well, I bet Charlie'll be happy to have her back. Before this here fah-yuh goes out I think I'm gonna' make me a pot o' jumbalaya. You want some Paw Paw?

 **Papere Buford:** Sure, Maw Maw. I'd like some of that. _(Papere Buford is staring at the Cullen Trailer as he leans back in his seat.)_ What a strange condition…

 **Mamere Minnie:** _(Mamere Minnie has left her seat across from Papere Buford and is about to go into the trailer when she looks back at her husband)._ Did you say something, Paw Paw?

 **Papere Buford:** Hmm? Oh, it's nothing Maw Maw. Go get that jumbalaya started, woman! I'm hungry!


End file.
